Poslednjih nekoliko godina sam prolazila kroz teške napde anksioznosti.
Anksioznost može pretvoriti nešto tako prosto u tako komplikovanu psihološku igru, gde stalno pokušavaš da shvatiš tačan odgovor pre nego što je to potrebno. Mnogi ljudi koji nikada nisu iskusili anksioznost, mogu to zamisliti kao što je osećaj kada trebaš držati javni govor ili neku prezentaciju.. Pa imate tremu.. Zapravo to se tako može i do nekle shvatiti... ovaj primer uzimam da objasnim neku vrstu anksioznosti.
Za mene je anksioznost onaj osećaj kada si u velikoj, jezivoj kući, sama tokom noću, ili pak izgubljena u gradu u kojem ne znam govoriti ni jedan jezik. Postaješ ekstra osetljiva na sve oko sebe - prizor i miris koji te okružuje jer naše telo pokušava da shvati da li je ugroženo. Moj strah je bio izazvan negativnim mislima, i negativnim ljudima oko sebe, postala sam osoba bez energije.
Moj dečko, na primer, je apsolutni šampion oko pomoći da se borim protiv anksioznosti. On je seratonin moje sreće. Nekada sam napade anksioznosti dobijala odjednom. Ako nisam išla tokom dana u teretanu ili ako nisam pisala ništa u svoj dnevnik (a ponekad čak i ako sam radila sve ove stvari), bila sam noćima bez spavanja. Nesanicom se manifestuje moja anksioznost.
Probudim se posle sat vremena s lupnjavom u grudima i širom otvorenih očiju. Jednom, kada je moj dečko bio budan, kada me je insmonija napala, pitao me je zašto sam zabrinuta. "Ništa", odgovirla sam, i to je bila istina - ponekad je nesanica vezana za trenutnim brigama o školi ili prijateljima, ali ponekad nisu. Ponekad se činilo da se anksioznost, u ovom slučaju moja nesanica, javlja od starih briga sa kojima sam se susretala ranije.
Ovo je samo moje lično iskustvo u vezi anksioznosti. Ljudima koji su zabrinuti za tebe, kojima je stalo do tebe, žele da shvate šta vam se dešava. Ne odustajte, niste sami! Radi stvari koje voliš najviše, ograniči vreme koje provodiš sa negativnim ljudima i ne plaši se ko si. Ne možeš da planiraš tvoju budućnost. Šta ako budućnost nije takva? Šta ako je danas samo priprema za ono što će se desiti sutra? Šta ako…? Ne želiš da budeš povređena, to znači da nikada ne znaš kako biti srećna!
Pisala: Cherry of Merry
I have had really severe social anxiety for the past years.
To me, anxiety feels like being in a big, creepy house alone at night, or lost in a city where you don’t speak the language of it . You become extra sensitive to everything else around you – sights, smell because your body is trying to figure out if you are threatened. My fear was caused by negative thoughts, and negative people around me, I was becoming a person without energy.
My boyfriend for example, is an absolute champion at helping me cope with my anxiety. He is my serotonin of my happiness. Some nights I got panickly. If I didn't go at the gym during the day or write in my diary (and sometimes even if I did those things), I was in for a long night of insomnia. Insomnia was one of the main ways my anxiety manifests itself.
I woke up after an hour or so of sleep with my heart pounding, and found that my brain wide awake. Once, when my boyfriend happened to be up during one of these insomniac episodes, he started asking me what I was worried about. "Nothing," I told him, and I was telling him the truth — sometimes these insomnia episodes were tied to actual worries about my school or friends, but sometimes they weren't. Sometimes they seemed to appear by old worries.
These are just my own experience with my own anxiety. The people who care us want to understand , even if they don’t necessarily get it right away. Don’t give up, you are not alone. Do the things that you love most, limit your time spent with negative people and don’t be afraid about who you are. You can’t picturing the future. What if the future isn’t the same? What if today is just setting up how bad tomorrow will be? What if…? You don’t want to be hurt, but it means you never know how to be happy.
posted by Cheery of Merry
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